quote:

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Originally posted by robtracy:
If our two new urban warriors would merely divuldge the management company of their malls I could quickly determine if this is truth or fiction.... piss on my parade and tell me I can't have my weapon in "their" facility.

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Nice try Wanda, I'll tell you what company I work for when you sign up and take the honor code of silence.

We don't like to parade around in uniforms like a bunch of drunken shriners at a gay rights parade.

Low profile is key to our survival and the survival of our clients.

As far as you bringing a concealed firearm to my facility, I have a keen eye for a hidden weapon. Try the s#!t on my premises and you'll have to shove your arm up your ass up to your elbow, just to get your hand around the grip.

quote:

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Originally posted by Nordic:
Hey Geekboy, SPECIAL-ED, et-all, does the shadow government agencies that fund your ops also provide you with anti-armor capabilities? I mean what if a posse of gang bangers starts driving through the mall all a blazin' in their '74 Licoln Continental? Do your low profile, battery powered patrol units come equipped with mounts for attaching Hellfires? Also, what if your three-man team is ambushed by superior numbers of Chechin rebels while guiding traffic at the escalator? If I were you I'd consider mounting claymores to the sides of your HUMGEE ("g" for golfcart). We all eagerly await your next installment!

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No-Dic, are you still here?

No we are not govt. funded, I work for a corporation, do I need to spell it out for you???

Yes we do have armored vehicles Lucy. We have armored GMC Yukons and Suburbans for executive protection. We have several Hummers with MG mounts for our two HK21Es, and two VERY special armored vehicles for more serious work, here's a hint, the US Marine Corp has a 2 less in their inventory now.

We have been faced with several BGs with Anti-armor weapons. Usually it's just surplus RPG7s but occationally something a bit more potent, like AT4s and one incident with a TowII.

I especially want to thank the little boy who wrote about his tramatic experience in that men's bathroom. It took a lot of guts to talk about that on a public forum. You are a brave, brave person. You appear to have what it takes for a career in my field, please contact me when you are 18, I can get you in started on a high intensity training program and hopefully get you started as an apprentice by the age of 21.

Anyway, I was just over at my local mall, tiptoing amongst the shadows, and noticed something. Right in the middle of a bite of my "large pretzle with cheese" I became aware of the fact that the Beanie Baby display next to the food court had a suspiciuosly familiar shape to it. Could it have been a concealed M2 Bradley Fighting Vehicle?!?!?!? My senses immediately went "CODE RED" and I scanned the ceilings for the deft movements of the shadow warrior clan. It was at this moment that one of the elite stepped from an unanticipated direction and "pulled my butt from the fire."

"Ughhh, excuse me sir," he said "but you're about to drop your pretzle."

I shook the hand of that true professional and quickly walked my embarrassed civilian butt out of "the danger zone." From now on when I say my prayers at night I will thank the Almighty for true men like you who fight the good fight and keep we faint-of-heart types safe and secure.

I SALUTE YOU SIR! Oh, what's that? I'm supposed to use all five fingers? So sorry...

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Knowledge is power and truth is freedom!

quote:

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Originally posted by SPECOPS:
I have personally saved the ass-virginity of several young boys in my days.

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Was this simply because you changed your mind at the last minute? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Who needs cable TV when you've got this guy!

quote:

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Originally posted by SPECOPS:
No-Dic, are you still here?

No we are not govt. funded, I work for a corporation, do I need to spell it out for you???

Yes we do have armored vehicles Lucy. We have armored GMC Yukons and Suburbans for executive protection. We have several Hummers with MG mounts for our two HK21Es, and two VERY special armored vehicles for more serious work, here's a hint, the US Marine Corp has a 2 less in their inventory now.

We have been faced with several BGs with Anti-armor weapons. Usually it's just surplus RPG7s but occationally something a bit more potent, like AT4s and one incident with a TowII.

Funny that you mention the Chechin rebels. We don't have to deal with them, but we get a lot of heat from the Russian mofia. Those guys are bada$$es, former Spetsnaz and KGB that are out of work and pissed off.

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SPECOPS, I am considering a transfer to a line of work that is much less boring, and the equipment and the opponents you have listed intrigues me. I would like to visit your corporation's facility, and view your training grounds. The whole mall gig is getting old, and I feel less and less appreciated at our retail center. What I am trying to say is, does your corportation have room for a few good men? Another fearless crusader, to watch over the safety of the halfwitted masses? I believe that my tac-team may be able to continue without me, I hate to leave them at the mercy of the skinheaded "heil Hitler" crowd, but that op will be finished out of my juris diction one way or the other. The NYPD has dealt with the Crips long enough, they should be able to keep their heads above surface should I cease my endless pursuit of them, but I just have to wonder if working ops on a traveling freelance basis once again wouldn't be just the thing to rejuvanate my career.

I wonder....

But then again I think of the mayors nephew, his face distored with tears and terror, the GAP employees who asked for my autograph, and had to settle for a cover identity's signature, the flashbangs, and their acrid scent, the small of napalm in the evening breeze, as I crouch behind a shopping cart in the parking lot, the target practice with my dearest comrades and friends, the members of my teams, and our live fire exercises-Can I leave it all behind? should I?

Or is my life better spent as the silent, alert, stalwart, invisible guardian of the free mall...

I cannot tell.

Is it true that you Mall Ninja's often duct tape a trauma plate to your backs to absorb multiple .308 hits while laying down cover fire for your partners?

quote:

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Originally posted by KA3N:
Hey Todd,

Is it true that you Mall Ninja's often duct tape a trauma plate to your backs to absorb multiple .308 hits while laying down cover fire for your partners?

[ducking...]

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No, no, no... You gotta' get the lingo man! It's not duct tape! They call it "chrome." So when you hear one of these guys ask their partners if they're "chromed" they are asking if they've duct taped a tray from the food court to their backside (upper or lower, you choose). Watch your six man, and stay chromed!

I was working for a smaller security organization, me were regularily rotated between 4 stations. A local Food City supermarket was designated Sector Alpha-Niner, the Jiffy Lube was Bravo-Lima-Fiver, the local $1 movie theater was Golf-16 and finally, the most coveted assignment, the local mall or Zebra-1.

Back then, before the corporate sponsorship, our gear was severely limited due to out of pocket expenses. I was armed with a Glock17 (one of the first into the country, given to me by Gaston Glock personally in honor of my former black-ops experiences) and a Rem870P 14"bbl folder loaded with 000 magnums.

On this particular fateful day my team was assigned to patrol Sector Zebra-1, the mall. It was an uneventful day, until the unthinkable happened...

It was about 8:45PM, and the mall was closing and nearly empty. Me and my 'shadow' were sweeping quadrant 069E, the mall arcade, a known hotspot for Asian Gangs and assorted thugs. The arcade was located at the far east end of the mall, next to the movie theater and the orange julius.

I smelled trouble, and couldn't spot any movement from the arcade, which was unusual due to the presence of a new Mortal Compact arcade game. Those Asians Gangs love Mortal Combat.

I went to 'condition red,' and discretely unholstered my Glock17 loaded with Black Talons. I motioned to my partner to sweep right to flank the arcade, but he was already in motion sensing the trouble in my facial expression. My partner drew his S&W 1006 and went prone behind a potted palm tree.

I crept towards the arcade, when the power went out. It was an ambush! I could still see relatively well due to the full moon, shining through the building's skylights, and years in a dark secret Russian prison center had honed my natural night vision to that of a tomcat.

A perp popped up from behind the Orange Julius counter with a full auto Kalashnikov with a 75rd drum, and opened up in the direction of my partner, meanwhile two perps popped up from behind the skeeball machine with sawed off 12 gauges. Another two perps appeared on the upper level and brought down hell-fire on us from above. One had a Winchester Model 70 in .30-06 with a 10x scope and the other was laying down suppressive fire with a Mac10 variant. The perps were all sporting cheap russian NVGs.

I dove under a metal bench, and lined my sights on the AK bandit. A double-tap to the chest, and a quick follow-up to the head brought him down like a sack of potatos. My partner had been hit in the leg by some buckshot but he kept fighting like a champ, he took out one of the shotgunners with a 10mm hollowpoint to the temple, while I started unloading into the glass partition that surrounded the upper level. When the sniper ran for cover I drew a bead on him, adjusted for distance, and dropped two into his abdomen. The Mac-man ran for it, at the sight of the bloody guts pouring out his partner's stomach.

I did a quick tactical reload, grabbed the 870P from the harness on my back, and did some rolls over to the movie theater and back flipped over the concession counter while unloading the 5 rounds of 000 into the skeeball machine. My partner was pinned down, I tossed the empty 870, and realized I couldn't hit the remaining perp due to my the poor angle of attack. I had to act fast or my partner was done for. I leap over the counter again, and low crawled towards the arcade unseen. I crept behind the Mrs. PacMan game, and when I heard the perp reload, jumped up with my trusty K-Bar, and threw it into the perp's arm, pinning him against the wall behind him.

When the smoke cleared, we had three dead perps, and two very scared prisoners. My partner was slighting wounded but he would live to fight another dayl. The company goons came in fast by chopper, to cover up the situation. The remaining perps were flown to a company detention center, and we never found out what happened to them, or why they made such a vicious attack. My belief is that they were planning to hijack the coveted Mortal Combat game unit.

The remaining customers and employees were paid off to cover their emotional distress and to keep their mouths shut. Later an unknown shadowy figure in an expensive black suit (obviously a high ranking company guy) came to me as I was reloading my Rem870 (in case of a second wave of attackers) and offered me the job opportunity of a lifetime...

I don't know if I made the right decision that day. I will always fondly remember the days of mall security, the expressions on the thankful patrons you saved from certain molestation in the mall bathrooms. The look of pain in the drooling face of the shoplifter you just choke-holded to unconciousness.

Yes my new job is more exotic and the gear is better, but would I trade it all for one more day as a mall security rep? I don't know the answer to that question.

Gecko45, just remember, you always have a place available with my company. No matter what you choose...

quote:

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Originally posted by SPECOPS:
Gecko45, just remember, you always have a place available with my company. No matter what you choose...

Stay safe brother...

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Uhhh, would your "company" be Merry Maids or perhaps you "contract out" for Kelly Girls?

Watch your six and stay chromed!

quote:

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Originally posted by SteyrAUG:
ATTN. SPECOPS AND GECKO45 my secret username is CIDDECEP and I am your S2. My authorization code is Six Wun Quebec Oscar Fife. Your presence here is tactically dangerous and compromises our overall mission parameter. Cease and desist all activity on this board. Our "enemies" are deft at computer hacking and may trace you back to our primary locale. You have forced me to compromise my situation to protect your vulnerable flank. This issue will be addressed later.

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Authorization Code acceptabel. Will revert to sthealt ops, and stay "sub" on "WASFCD". Contact my supervisor, and check.

Over and out.

Thanks for the support. It was hard to confess what happened. When I describe it, it just plays again in my mind. It was not my fault. But I still blame myself for being a naive kid. I still owe a debt to your collegues.

Maybe in a year I can start to repay. I will study the profession.

I alreday am looking at sites. Special Weapons has a good one. I looked at the guestbook. Everyone seems happy with SW and there products. I can't wait to be old enough to own one.

My cousin is connected with the government. He can't tell me what he does. But he hears that Bush may change the guns they buy. HK is made in the EU. EU is NWO. SW is made in USA. Its better too. SW may get the contract.

I would like to apologige to the universe for the posts of Gecko and Specops. They are not examples of the average security officer.

I have fired the MP5, and would love to have one. We do have Security officers armed with them, but not at Malls. These officers work for our Nuclear division and protect many of the Nuclear Reactors found in the world, and other nuclear sensitive sites (Rocky Flats, in Colorado being the one I am most familiar with)

So, again..I am sorry that these people exist. Security is a tough job, mad tougher by Mall Ninja's and Seal Team wannabe's like these two.

I'd like to stick around after the smoke clears, especially since I am the (very) proud owner of an HK91, and would love to soak up some of you folks' knowledge about same...

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Originally posted by Infantry556
For everyone who doesn't know the whole mall ninja story check out this link: www.mallninja.com

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Of course it's a joke, and a very funny one. Hell you guys were given this link on the FIRST page. LMAO! You people really take yourselves too seriously.

Chris

quote:

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Originally posted by Gecko45:
Todd,

I have already purchased two of your SW3’s from an estate sale...

In a month, I would like to purchase one of your HK91 clones, although I could go with a parts gun, I would prefer to purchase from a reputable manufacturer. Let me know where I can get one...

Gecko45
[This message has been edited by Gecko45 (edited 03-25-2001).]

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How come nobody caught this tid bit in the original post??? Then again I do realize the post was so heavily loaded with all of the other crap that the above was hard to catch!

Gecko and Specops, my hat is off to you two. How you guys can actually type and keep a straight face, well lets just say, your powers are greater then mine. However, after reading some of your posts I'm begining to think you guys could weave sh@t into silk. I especially like the part about perps armed will full auto AK's trying to steal a Mortal Combat arcade game, that......, that was the best. Either that or you taking out the perpe with your G17 filled with "Black Tallons". If you guys would put this stuff into a book you might be able to make some money.

'Paranoia strikes deep. Into your heart it will creep....'

Love ya, mean it!

quote:

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Originally posted by Sparhawk:
Of course it's a joke, and a very funny one. Hell you guys were given this link on the FIRST page. LMAO! You people really take yourselves too seriously.

Chris]

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Yeah man, all the other boards caught on in less than 100 posts! I'm ashamed to be a memeber here with the overall lack of sharpness!! ;-)

And assuming Todd the jerk is the perp! What a hoot! Shows that you guys need to get to the other message boards every now and then.

Mall Ninja on Glock talk was a riot! Gecko had everyone going! He nabbed the folks over at AR-15.com too, the tried at AK-47,net but he was quickly ID'd. Now Gecko45, what about Assaultweb, FNFAL, or subguns??

Cheers!

Cheers!

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S. Head (alias E. Coli)
Houston

LOCKED to prevent further abuse.