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Code Name:
NSFJoJo

The Man. The Myth. The Maniac...

Name: Matt. We think. We're not going anywhere near enough to him to ask.

Height: 5' 8"

Weight: 155 lbs.


In the gravest extreme, a Mall Ninja may need to go undercover.


Standard Loadouts: 

(Plain Clothes)
Croatian HS 2000, Winchester White Box 9mm 124 gr. ball ammo, 3x 15 spare mags
KABAR Fullsize fixed blade knife
No Body Armor-he has previously stated that he believes himself to be totally bulletproof. He has apparently some reluctance to test this theory...
Authentic Ninja footwear with split climbing toe and ankle spikes.

(Special Response)

Load Bearing Equipment- A China Charley rip-off of a Mil-Tech (For Professional) Korean-made vest, apparently bought during a gun show.

Primary Weapons-  
A) IMI Tavor bullpup 21 in 5.56 NATO. Select fire system, right side ejection and a 3.5 lb hair trigger, thanks to the unit armorer, SinistralRifleman. Uses an integral rail (Mil-S-1913) w/ ELCAN scope.
B)
Black Katana, unknown manufacture, named “Justice”

Secondary Weapon- 

A)Croatian HS 2000, Winchester White Box 9mm 124 gr. ball ammo, 3x 15 spare mags, Safariland 6004 thigh holster. 4 smoke grenades, 4 CS grenades.
B) KABAR knife. Matt usually shuns handguns as “Inferior pieces of crap… During CQB I’d much rather use a knife than a handgun because the wounds spurt more blood and I get to laugh when I gouge their eyes out with my blade.” Also quoted was “Where is my data fact sheet for handguns so I can pretend I know what the f**k I’m talking about?” Despite this, he still apparently owns and carries the HS2000.

Service Career (known):

Raised in Feudal Japan under Shogun Tomoegawa, taught Ninjutsu by the Producer of Karate Kid, and discovered during an episode of Star Search Matt remains the poster boy of the Mall security community.  Starting his public career with a hit NES game Bad Dudes with  none other than the infamous McUzi, he went to part time mall patrol to schedule enough time to hit it big.

 

During an CNN Interview Matt was spotted by an Imbroglio Production Casting Agent
and subsequently starred with LordTrader in the hit 2001 movie Mall Ninja 2:

 

 

After that he went for a solo movie career with the straight to video bomb:



And lets not forget he was an inspiration for a hit Junk Food:

Estimated Danger Level 1-10: NSFJojo gets an 8.2 He's totally unpredictable...and there's little that's more dangerous than that.



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Trevor Putnam

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